“The label «selfish girl» has taken on new meaning, and I wear it with pride and acceptance.” - Miriam Segal

(Part Two)

The scarf cost NOK1000 (about USD90, by today’s rates).

A fortune for me, at the time.

But the scarf was beautiful.

I loved it, but I couldn’t bring myself to spend that much money on myself.

Not yet.

At least, not for a scarf.

And not when it would cut into my food budget.

I stood admiring it, wanting it for myself.

It had taken me years to get to that point, the point of it being OK to want nice things for myself.

I called him from the shop.

How would you like to buy me a present, I asked.

Silence on the other end.

I waited, breathing.

It was important to keep breathing.

Ehhh, OK, he finally said.

I knew why he’d hesitated.

It wasn’t because he didn’t want to buy the scarf for me.

It was because I’d asked him to.

He told me to wait there, that he was on his way.

He actually took time off of work to come meet me at the shop.

When I showed him the scarf, he said he understood why I wanted it.

A few minutes later, it was mine.

I wore that scarf with great joy: not only because I loved it, but also as a reminder of the huge leap I had taken, the love I’d shown myself, and the support my boyfriend had given me.

My life has changed remarkably since then.

The label «selfish girl» has taken on new meaning, and I wear it with pride and acceptance.

The girl who couldn’t accept the gift of a CD started her own business in 2001.

I’ve spent more than 20 years expanding that business, challenging myself, and embracing what I want for myself and my life.

I made a courageous call that day, and ever since, I’ve cultivated the courage to live the life of my dreams, sometimes with small steps, sometimes in great leaps.

Fear and self-judgment are no longer the norm for me: they are the exception.

And money is an opportunity, not a hindrance.

©Miriam Segal
Photo © Rune Ljostad